We all have a VOICE. And we all use it in very different ways. Some people are blessed to be able to ALWAYS speak their mind no matter what. They feel as though they do not owe the world anything. In fact THEY are so important that the WORLD may owe them something. Every little thing they think about is something that is very valuable to anyone they come into contact with. And for the benefit of man and womankind they are ready to educate us in the CORRECT way of being and acting.

The rules they live by are in fact what they refer to as a CODE. If we are lucky enough to TRULY understand what they are talking about we might just be able to be as successful as they have been. Only when we adopt their ways and vernacular are they able to HEAR our voice. But then it really isn’t our voice is it? All we will have become is a puppet,fulfilling their need for importance.

Somewhere, in all of this we begin to disappear. It usually is a gradual process. Because that is what the BULLY or ABUSER does. They know their prey and strategy better than anyone else. To separate their prey from everything all at once would not be beneficial. It is much more successful if done in small increments. That way, they are always seen as being RIGHT as well as being the only caring person in the relationship. When they disagree with people who are close to you, it always has to do with something LACKING in that person. It is a deflection from what THEY lack.

The ABUSER or BULLY quite often has a very large FLAW. It is something that they have spent years trying to keep undercover. And the way they achieve their goal is by making themselves appear flawless. It is this FLAW that we can use to begin digging ourselves out of the prison they have held us captive in .But we must start the unearthing process well before anything serious happens to us.

In order to do that we have to know all of the WARNING signs. They include and are not limited to, increased agitation. This can be due to anything but is usually has something to do with WORK. In their own world they are the only people who can do things correctly. Everyone else has so many flaws that it makes them inept.y

The way to find your voice in this situation is to GET OUT! GET while the going is GOOD!! Do not wait until things get physical. Use the authorities if need be and stay safe. Your family will always stand by you no matter what. Do not allow the Bully or ABUSER to convince you otherwise. Using your voice to be heard does not mean that you have to run off at the mouth. You can send your message LOUD and CLEAR with your actions! Trust me, the ABUSER will not be expecting that at all! That is how you will be heard!!