Ifree from fear

I have read many books on the power of positive thinking in the past few years. They all have a common thread of telling you to overcome your fears. Unfortunately I have never really mastered that concept. Every time I had convinced myself to not be afraid it seemed as though the “other show was dropping” so to speak.

Once I had sat down and planned out a budget for myself and the kids. On paper it looked great. The only problem was putting it into effect. As any single custodial parent can tell you, this get dicey when something goes wrong with the child support.I had all the bills lined up to pay and even thought I might have a little”extra” to get the kids something special. WRONG!! Two weeks after I had come up with my plan the support payments stopped coming in. It seems my ex had “lost” his job AGAIN!

At the time I had quite a few people telling me to sell the house we were living in. If I had two children of the same sex that might have been an option. But when I looked around for apartments with three bedrooms, the answer was the same. I was better off staying in the house and trying to figure something out. The only problem was that the calculator had a problem with the numbers I was putting into it.

They were not adding up to what i really needed to stay in the home and pay all the bills.With each passing day my fear was growing out of control. I was facing a stack of bills that i could not possibly pay. The phone was ringing from my creditors and I was hiding underneath a blanket. Then a realization hit me! What if I just got on the phone told them what was going on. I had more fear planted in the thought of losing my home. The only shelter I had for myself and the kids. This fear is what turned me into a warrior.

The first time I got on the phone with the mortgage company I had a complete breakdown on the phone. I was trying to hold it together, but my hands began to tremble and then my voice gave way. Before I could control myself I was a puddle of massive proportions.I thought for sure the lady on the other end was going to tell me to forget about staying where I was. I could not have been more mistaken.

She told me what the bank would need for information. I went out of my way to provide it to her.My income was falling short of where I needed it to be. I took my fear and searched far and wide until I found a part-time job that would not interfere with my full-time job. The numbers were starting to make sense. The bank thought so too! I renegotiated all of my bills and let me tell you this was no easy task.I had credit cards that I paid twenty five dollars a month just to prevent them from putting a judgement on me. But it was my fear of failure that kept me going. This fear of mine turned me into a success!