where you have been

Is not as important as where you are going. And like footprints in the sand, time will erase the intensity of the experiences we have endured. These are easy words to say but more difficult to put into practice.Letting go of the past is easier to do when we are no longer feeling the pull of it on us every day.Sometimes it may feel as though we are taking one step in a forward motion, with the resistance of a gale force wind. That is when moving forward physically,mentally and emotionally are unable to happen simultaneously.Even though we are all three dimensional, we usually can only focus on one area at a time.

At one of my lowest points, I had to focus on my physical well being only. Mentally I was in a coma. I processed everything in my life. It was the only way I could survive my hardship. I literally took those days one step at a time. I remember one morning waking up in disbelief, that I had been granted another chance at having the life of my dreams.

I was standing at my kitchen sink looking out into my driveway. I remember the astonishment on my face that everything was still in it’s place. It was on my maiden voyage walking post-surgery that these feelings became intensified. My emotions were so intense that I cried the entire walk on the beach. My gratitude spilled out in that way.In order for me to be able to embrace where I was going I had to recognize and accept where I had been. Only then would I be in a position to begin emotionally dealing with what i had been through.

Though my encounter with cancer was a limited event, it’s effect on myself and the family I once knew was profound. It brought out the best and worst in everyone I knew. These things would have shown up anyway. But the cancer accelerated what would have taken longer to happen. In any event I learned that my walk would take time. And as I advanced to where I wanted to be, those footprints I made from past experiences have vanished just like those on the beach from the incoming tide.