The thought of anniversaries usually bring to mind fond memories of days gone by. These memories are sometimes celebrated through lavish parties. Other times they are remembered in private. With one’s recalling the events of that time in the past.The anniversaries that we celebrate are usually birthdays and weddings. These are the ones that bring a great deal of happiness and are usually shared with other people in attendance.

I honestly think some anniversaries are difficult to face. They may force us to face a very painful part of our past. It is in these types of anniversaries that allow us to express our feelings that we suppress on a daily basis. If we permitted these feelings to surface on a regular basis we probably would not get much done.

As a breast cancer survivor I know only too well about the painful anniversaries. Without exception the most difficult time of year for me is when it is time to go for my yearly mammogram. I arise early that morning and I can feel my pulse racing. Although I have been downgraded from having one twice a year, I think I am more anxious than ever. Twelve whole months have passed by and I sit there in soulful reflection.

There is a part of me that remembers to be grateful for the time I have been granted without the big C. But there is also an accompanied fear that the mammogram and physical exam will show something. Once I have gone through the tests and I get a clean slate,I exhale releasing all of my anxiety. The hardest part of this experience is when the doctor acknowledges my right to being nervous. It reminds me of how far I have come and of how time has passed while I healed both physically and emotionally.

This anniversary is a mixed day of remembering pain and joy! Do you have an anniversary like that?