jacquisenn

Predestined Purpose!

Sun, 04 Sep 2022 05:20:43 GMT

What comes to your mind when you think about having a predestined purpose? Do you think it all rests on knowing what kind of work you will do? Or do you consider the possibility of your purpose being centered around friends and family. You see most of the world concerns itself on the material rewards that are received.

Sometimes God calls us into service not for materialistic gain but for his purpose in providing a special and specific relationship to one another. When I was growing up, there were exactly five different black families in my town, and we one of them. My father had died when I was four and my mother had a close friend who was also widowed with one son. Her son and my brother were exactly six months apart in age and became close friends.

Growing up I always referred to my mother's close friend as Aunt Margaret. Now many of you reading this post may be thinking, yeah so what no big deal. But this relationship was a very big deal since my mother's family was limited to one living brother. As the years went on the relationship with my Aunt and my "cousin" Joe continued to this day and now I have "adopted" him as my "other brother".

Throughout our ups and downs we have found a way to stay connected and when it seemed as though too much time had passed one of us would each out to the other. It's interesting how purpose is threaded into our lives in this way. Either people or situations that are meant to be beneficial to us repeatedly show up in one way or another, quite often unexpectedly.

So when I read the Bible which I do daily and I reflect back on Romans 8:28, I realize that all of us are called to serve God's purpose in some way. It's important to remember that small things are what add up to big things. We all are called to serve God's purpose. How will you serve?

God Bless Everyone!!

How to Create Change!

Sun, 21 Aug 2022 05:19:05 GMT

One thing I have noticed is that people are usually looking to CHANGE something in their lives. The change can be about the space they live in, going on a diet, starting new exercise habits or getting rid of a habit that is negatively impacting their lives. Any of these things that I have mentioned can be a large undertaking and tax our willpower in different ways.

I was thinking back to the day I quit smoking 22 years ago this past August 1st, and I am still amazed that I was able to start that journey. For years I was the person who would say things like "I am not a quitter" and laugh as I lit another cigarette. I never left my home without matches, a lighter and of course my cigarettes . Then one day in 2000, something interesting happened to me. For the first time ever, I could smell the cigarettes on my clothing, my skin and in my home.

This is the first step in starting to making a change, AWARENESS. You must be aware that there is something that needs to change. If you think that having bright pink walls in your home is fine, or eating junk food everyday is ok, then you may not be ready for change. If you are not ready to walk a little bit to get some exercise then starting an exercise regiment is highly unlikely.

I remember being disgusted with myself for the very first time over the "stink" of stale cigarette smoke. That was the moment I started praying for help, because at the time I was still enjoying the cigarettes. I was on my knees, with my head bowed down every chance I could get in prayer because I knew I could not do it alone.

The second step is to seek ASSISTANCE, don't try changing your home environment without doing some research first. Talking with your doctor may be necessary before you start exercising and most of prayer or meditation should be at the center of your journey. Do not view this as being weak, we are all human and are not meant to journey by ourselves.

One day I will never forget it, it was early morning August 1, 2000 somehow I knew it was time to totally give it up. I took the entire package of cigarettes and gingerly placed them at the top of the trash bin. Then I took the dog out for a walk, came back home and had some breakfast. I spent the remaining time of that day looking up and praying that "this would work". And what I learned was this was just the beginning of my journey.

The third step to creating change is to ACCEPT that the change you want is a journey and will not happen overnight. There were nights filled with nightmares that I had relapsed and smoke a cigarette. These dreams were so vivid, I would wake in a sweat with my heart pounding. It was only when I realized the ashtrays and the cigarettes were no longer part of my household I was able to go back to sleep. There were days in the beginning, that all I could think about was having a cigarette. That all changed one day when I was out with my son who was three at the time, and I saw a woman with her young child in her arms lighting up a cigarette. It was then I knew that my prayers has been answered and I was on the right path because "for the grace of GOD" that could have been me.

The final step in creating change is to ACKNOWLEDGE the progress you are making. If you fight an addiction whether it is a substance or food, keep track of everyday you have gone without what was harming you. When you write down or check off the days you have been successful it will outweigh the moments you have with those thoughts that are trying to take you BACK. It may seem like small stuff right now but remember you can only take it one day at a time.

God Bless Everyone this week and remember to be AWARE, seek ASSISTANCE be ACCEPTING and to ACKNOWLEDGE your success!! Most importantly include HIM in everything you do and HE will never let you down!!

Before You Take a Pill!

Sun, 07 Aug 2022 05:17:14 GMT

I have been seeing a lot more advertisements lately for medications that are meant to assist people in managing their moods. In one of the most recent ads I have seen, the narrator strongly suggested NOT to overthink things and just "take the pill". The ad was in the setting of a person questioning a relationship and whether or not it was in danger.

What disturbed me the most about this , is that it is exactly what medication should NOT be used for. It is very normal to question ourselves and also the relationships we are in. Things can and often do change as time moves on. Some might question whether or not to take a relationship to "the next level", whatever that might be. Others may question if the feelings are still there or if there has been a drifting apart.

Our feelings should never be masked with medication initially, they should be explored by talking to the other person involved. Trusting our feelings should always come FIRST and we should remember that they are our warning signs or alerts to something being different. If a relationship does not feel right to YOU, then those are YOUR feelings and quite frankly cannot be disputed. The real question then becomes, why are you feeling this way? What has happened to create this discontent within you?

Are you feeling as though the person involved with you is withdrawing from you, or are you the one withdrawing and if so, why? The core post of it all is to get to the ROOT of the issue instead of taking medication or using other substances that will only MASK your feelings!!

So before you take the pill, take the plunge and ask the difficult questions and start those difficult conversations. That may be the only medication you will require!!

As always GOD BLESS!!

It's Never Too Late!

Sun, 17 Jul 2022 05:14:08 GMT

In 2017 I was employed as a nursing assistant, and at the time I worked at a hospital on a medical surgical floor. O considered myself fortunate at the time because I was able to pick up extra shifts each week and earn some overtime. All that extra money went o the bills, but it meant the difference between falling behind and treading water.

I was in the position of training all the new nursing assistants and those who were nursing students to the floor an how we handled things. At the end of each summer, I would watch the nursing students leave and talk about how excited they were to go back to school to "finish up". They were looking forward to becoming nurses. While I was anticipating the next batch of new recruits.

One day one of the nurses I worked with said to me "it's too bad you can't go back to school". I looked at her questioningly and she continued "well you know now that your youngest is in college, I mean what would be the point really?" I looked away from her so she would not see the tears in my eyes. Thoughts swirled in my head, I could hear her voice saying "it's too late." And for a few months I agreed.

In August of 2017, I called Cambridge College in Boston, Ma and just asked if I could come in for a conversation. You see, I was confused about which course of study to take. I could not make up my mind between becoming a Licensed Mental Health Counselor or a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. The woman I spoke with on the phone asked me for my phone number and my email address. And before I went in for the "conversation" I received an email asking me to bring in a "few things".

I went to the school the next week with my "few things" and they had me fill out a few forms. I really had no clue as to what I was doing. I figured I was filling out all of these things for data, like I do when I want to get the discount card at a store. Well, in truth what I filled out was an application for acceptance into their LMHC Masters Program and three weeks later I was sitting in my first class.

Eighteen months later I gradated with my Masters in Mental Health Counseling and the same woman who told me I couldn't do it had to admit she was wrong. What she said to me was "I don't think I could have gone back to school and done what you did." You see, when people tell you, "it's too late" and "it cannot be done" they are merely projecting their own doubts on YOU!!

What I also know is that this is exactly the kind of thinking the devil wants to get you trapped in. He wants you to believe that it's too late and God cannot use you for his purpose any longer. But I am here as living proof, that is not true. By accepting and listening to God, I not only created a closer relationship to God but also discovered his purpose for me. By containing my education, I inspired my son to accept an opportunity at the University of Arizona to complete a Masters in Music Performance and a Teacher's Assistantship.

God is always good and he wants the BEST for you... Start listening to him when he speaks to you and Follow his direction!

Expressing Gratitude

Sun, 10 Jul 2022 05:11:14 GMT

Expressing gratitude is a way of saying thank you for things. These things can be a gift, an opportunity or merely having a special relationship with someone. But it is the WAY that gratitude is expressed that is most important because it must be meaning fun and come from the heart.

I personally have met plenty of people who say they are grateful for things they have. One woman I work with periodically owns a luxury car. She HAS to have a vehicle that is a little bit better ( in her mind) than what most people have. Yet one day, she and I were having a conversation about car maintenance, and I happen to mention how frequently I wash my car. She put her head down and admitted it had been quite some time since she had washed her car.

I share this story with you not to suggest that owning a luxury car is a bad thing, but really to demonstrate that it is not about what you have, it is all about what is means to you. Take a look around you right now in your home and view all of the things that you have. How many of them do you really need, use on a regular basis or remember the day you purchased them. How do you treat the things you have?

If you are not honoring your possessions by treating them well, then you are not truly grateful for them. That is how gratitude is really measured, not by how much you have but how you are treating what you have!

This week my challenge for everyone reading this post is to write down what they are grateful for and how they honor their gratitude!!

God Bless and have a great week.

Creating Mindful Mantras!

Sun, 12 Jun 2022 05:08:25 GMT

Mindfulness is at the center of therapy. You might ask yourself , why is that when there are plenty of other strategies or coping skills people can use? Well, the answer is really quite simple. Until a person can SLOW things down or bring them to a manageable pace, coping skills may be ineffective at first.

Making mantras for ourselves is not all that complicated and I want to STRESS the importance of keeping it simple. The more complicated people make this the less likely they are to engage in using them. One of my clients this week identified the mantra for their day as: I AM OKAY ! This may not sound like much to a lot of people. However, if you are someone who struggles with anxiety and self esteem issues this is HUGE!!

The purpose of creating simple mantras is to keep the person in the mindset for the day of what their mantra is and also to help them identify positive things about themselves and what they CAN achieve. The other important part of this is that the mantra DOES NOT have to change daily. A person can have the same mantra for as long as they need to. And it is extremely important not to rush someone into making a entire list of mantras because quite often that can become less meaningful and feel like too much work.

This week create meaningful and simple mindful mantras!! G.

Dealing With Depression

Sun, 29 May 2022 05:07:04 GMT

Some people think there is no difference between sadness and depression but there is a distinct difference between the two which I will explain in this blog. Before I do that, I want to share with you some common misconceptions about people who are in a depressive state.

they are people who cannot laugh or enjoy anything
they are people unable to see the good things in their lives
they are just lazy
they are just looking for attention
all they want to do is avoid things

Now that I have identified some common misconceptions about depression, let's get to the difference between sadness and depression:

Sadness happens when an event occurs (such as a death) and for a short while , it lowers the person's mood. Yet they are still able to get up and do the things they normally do. They may have an appearance of being sad and tearful , but in a relatively short time they begin to appear a little bit brighter and they get back to doing the things they enjoy.

Depression on the other hand is entirely different. There may or may not be an event that precedes the episode. The person may actually appear happy for moments throughout the day. The person feels hopeless and experiences helplessness. These emotions may also lead to the person having low energy, that affects their ability to:

get out of bed
shower
change their clothes
eat regularly ( it is not uncommon for people to experience weight loss or weight gain)
loss of interest in the things they used to enjoy doing
hopeless feeling that there is little to be grateful for
helpless that they can do anything to change the way they are feeling

If you are trying to help someone who is in a depressive episode, there are a few things you can do:

be a cheerleader not a judge - encourage the person when they tell you they are trying
ask the person what THEY need - all to often people want to help people with their own ideas , it is important to meet the person where THEY are
learn to listen , really listen to what is and is not being said
avoid sharing stories that draw a comparison between your feelings and theirs
if needed provide quiet company-be a presence they can count on
give them space when necessary

These are just some of the things you can do to assist someone with depression, if you are concerned about safety please call 911 ,your local crisis line or the national crisis line at (800) 273-8255 for suicide prevention.

Stay safe out there everybody!

Being Mindful...

Sun, 15 May 2022 05:04:27 GMT

Mindfulness is becoming more and more mainstream. It seems as though everywhere I look, whether In randlph is online or at at the grocery store there is something about mindfulness. It can seem overwhelming at times with the constant onslaught of information about this topic. I have had some clients tell me "mindfulness is NOT for me". And when I ask them why they feel that way, the answer I get most often is "I am not into all of that meditation stuff, so just forget it."

This is where a lot of the information that is out there regarding mindfulness can be misleading. Let's face it, we are all different creatures of habit and do things that are unique to ourselves. So, knowing that, why should mindfulness be approached any differently.

The BASIS of mindfulness is to "BE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT". I ask my clients this question a lot and now I will ask this of you. Have you ever had a time when you are in a discussion, meeting or and argument when all of a sudden you realize , you have no idea what is being said or what is going on? Somehow your mind managed to take you out of the present moment and when you come back to the present moment you are seemingly lost.

This is where mindfulness comes in handy, and it is not all meditation, essential oils and patterned breathing. Although those are all great strategies if you are interested. Mindfulness is really a way of re-training our brains to focus on the "here and now". And the way it is achieved is by using different strategies. I have had clients who use folding clean clothes as a form of mindfulness and it does have to be done without the television, or music playing. I know yuck!! But remembering that the goal is to stay present in the moment, then multitasking cannot be part of the strategy.

If you are a person who enjoys organizing things, then take on the challenge of re-organizing your room, the spice rack, your closet, your book collection etc, you get the idea. And again with these projects keep outside noise (televisions, music, podcasts etc) to a minimum. These are all ways to create a mindful routine for yourself that will increase your ability to stay in the "PRESENT".

Good Luck and God Bless!!

Propagating Purpose!

Sun, 30 Jan 2022 04:57:14 GMT

There is so much going on in the world today around mindfulness and relaxation. Let's face it the two past years have taken the world in a direction that no one could have seen coming. From lock down's to saying in place, even the comfort of our own homes became a place that created additional stress and anxiety.

Some people have developed a fear of going outside PERIOD as a result of all of this. They do not want to venture out into their own back yards or patio. The reality in all of this is.. it's going to be a long road BACK once the pandemic begins to become more manageable.

The question I am asked most frequently from my clients is " Where do I begin to manage myself and those emotions that become barriers to doing even the simplest of things like leaving my home?" I have some suggestions to help begin this process. Today I will share with you one of the five steps I use with my clients.

Step one is probably the most difficult for people because it is not in our nature to seek forgiveness but rather to grant it to others. If you think about it for a minute, we have a tendency to have more empathy for others than we do for ourselves. We find it easy to tell a friend or a co-worker that it's okay if they are having a bad day or struggling a little bit. But when it comes to doing that for ourselves, it's not quite so easy.

So the first step in managing these emotions of anxiety and stress lies in forgiving ourselves. YES there it is I said it ! LOOK in the mirror and say to that person looking back at you , its ok to struggle! Admit you are struggling and forgive yourself for being in the situation you are in!

I had to this for myself, look in the mirror at myself and say "I forgive you!" I remember the emotions I felt when I did this, I began to cry. It was the first time I allowed myself to FEEL something other than the stress associated with trying to OVERCOME! I had spent so much energy on trying to BE everything to everyone that I lost track of ME!

My forgiveness came at a time when I was recovering from breast cancer surgery, and a divorce. Yes it all happened at the same time. You know that life does not happen one event at a time. I had to forgive myself for mot healing as quickly as I wanted to, for not being able to financially give my children the things they wanted while maintaining a roof over our heads, and for running behind on bills when I had more of them than what was in my paycheck.

Step# 1 for this week is begin to forgive yourself!!

The Importance of Planting

Sun, 25 Jul 2021 04:49:05 GMT

The other day I had a very interesting conversation with a client of mine. She was telling me about her job and all the stress she has been feeling lately. She said she is always exhausted by the end of the day due to all of the stress. She went on to tell me that anytime she tells her boss about something new she is going to try, her boss squashes the idea.

My client Robin (not her real name) said that her boss said things like "don't think you're special, other people here are contributing too." The more Robin spoke about her boss and the lack of support she was getting from her co-workers, the more it became evident that she was "planted" in the wrong place.

I am discovering a lot more people are planted in the wrong place and do not even realize it. Like Robin many folks think that if "they" change then their results will be different in their environment. But what I know is this, it is of little use to constantly re-invent yourself when it is not being appreciated. There is only one thing that should be done at this point. And that is to take a good look around and assess the environment you are in.

If the environment is not conducive to continued growth and there is little incentive to improve upon what you are already doing, then you might want to consider planting yourself in "richer" soil. You see, regardless of how long you have been in a position that has a financial gain, there should always be a new goal to reach. Something that will spark your enthusiasm to explore new things to try.

When you find yourself at a crossroads and need help getting "planted" in firm soil, it is time to call me. I can help you to assess where you are and where you want to go!! You can reply to this post or go to www.jacquisenn.com and fill out a form to set up a free call.

Mastering Mindfulness

Sun, 30 May 2021 04:46:55 GMT

Whenever I talk with clients about mindfulness, I get a lot of confused looks, some eye rolling and a few yawns. For some reason people's perception of what mindfulness is, rests in the belief that it involves sitting quietly with crossed legs, eyes closed listening to Zen like music.

Mindfulness can be like that if that is what the person desires, but it is much more than that. Mindfulness is the ability to remain in the moment one is in right now!! The ability to be in a meeting, zoom call or conference without thinking about the ham and cheese sandwich that will be served for lunch. It could also mean being able to stay on task even if one is sitting in a crowded space, focusing on a conversation regardless of a busy background. Tuning out the distractions and tuning in!!

How can this be achieved without complete seclusion? The most powerful tools one can use are found in the simplest activities. Sorting things is a wonderful mindfulness activity, whether it is socks, silverware ,clothing or books. Writing down thoughts and feelings on paper, or a journal is another wonderful mindfulness tool.

I have clients that use puzzles as a mindfulness tool since they become so involved in the puzzle they cannot think of anything else! One of the things I teach my clients is that maintaining individuality when it come to acquiring skills is so important in. being successful. It is imperative to remember that everyone is different and what works for one person may not be appropriate for another.

For other ideas on mastering mindfulness please fill out a contact form and we can chat!! For now have a great week!!

Mother's Day...

Sun, 09 May 2021 04:45:34 GMT

Let me start this post by wishing all of the moms out there a Happy Mother's Day!!

Every year on this day I celebrate it with two very different experiences. You see I acme a mom for the first time through adoption. My daughter was 18 months old when she came to live with us and it was a HUGE day for me and her father. A year to the day she was legally adopted I gave birth to a baby boy. Two wonderful and different experiences of motherhood, filled with anticipation, excitement and anxiousness.

As I look back on the years with my kids when they were little, I am happy when I remember the indoor Teddy Bear picnics on a rainy day, with grilled cheese sandwiches sliced like pinwheels with sliced oranges or apples. I have a smile on my face when I recall being the hero that fixed my 4 year old daughter's crayon with tape and her being satisfied with that. I will never forget my suspicions being confirmed that my two year old sone could read. Or the challenges I face keeping Jim interested in reading as a 3rd grader reading at an eighth grade level.

I could go on and on about all of the things I did with my kids, like the Christmas cookie making debacle that left the kids, myself and the family dog covered in flour. None of us cared and we were all laughing and having a great time. I even smiled as I did the cleanup alone.

Now that they have graduated college and are out pursuing their purpose in life, I now find myself with a smile on my face, grateful that I played a role in helping them get to where they are now.

Enjoy every step in the journey of your children growing and learning and take every opportunity to create memories that are long lasting. Most importantly, remember that some of the best memories come from the most ordinary activities!!

Two Things Required for Success

Sun, 25 Apr 2021 04:44:38 GMT

I have quite a few client's who are focused on becoming "successful." Some of the issues that become evident in their struggle, have nothing to do with their material resources. It really becomes a matter of TWO distinct principles, that when applied to any situation will determine the outcome.

Persistence
Consistency

Some people would argue that you only need persistence, but anyone can be persistent in the attainment of something. They can be relentless in their pursuit until they get what they want. That is not necessarily a bad thing, but if they are not consistent in their behavior, true long lasting success will remain elusive and quite possibly they could lose all they gained.

A few years ago I had a client who was determined to start his own real estate business. Our weekly sessions focused on business planning, strategies and retention of customers. I have had very few clients with the amount of energy this man put into his persistence of gaining customers. He was so diligent that within six months he became the top selling realtor in his area. One year later I got a text message from him asking if I would have time to "meet" with him. I was excited to hear all about his successes.

When we met at the local coffee shop, I was surprised at what he had to say. He told me that he had spent the last year and a half focused on acquiring new business and leads. Persistence was his strength after all. Then he told me that although he had acquired new business he was struggling with referrals. And in the real estate business word of mouth is the "golden ticket" for success. The problem was he struggled with being consistent with past customers. He would promise to keep in touch or to be available for consults and then would not follow up when they reached out to him. This lack of consistency lead him to lose a lot of deals and most of his referral base.

We established a time to meet weekly to review his strategy and to identify ways he could learn how to become consistent. Over a period of a few months time we designed a way for him specifically to retain his referral base while managing his acquisition of new clients. He has once again become a real estate leader in his area!!

Remember it takes more than one way to become successful in life and in business!

#success, #persistence, #consistent

Learning From Life's Lessons

Sun, 18 Apr 2021 04:43:11 GMT

From the time we are children we are learning life's lessons. They usually start small with the desire to have something and being told "NO". As we grow, so do the size of our lessons. Some people might wish they had a crystal ball so they could see in advance what was coming towards them. The truth is, even with the ability to " sense" that things may not be right, there are often times when we find ourselves in the middle of heart break because we ignored our feelings. This heartache can be used as a way of clearing our " vision" instead of an obstacle.

Initially whenever a heartache occurs we are not in a " good place" emotionally to process this as an opportunity for growth, however with a little time clarity will come. I once had a client who had met someone online in a different country they wanted to date. She had met him through a mutual friend and things moved along at a good pace for her. He came to visit the USA and spent some time with her and her friends. She showed me the pictures of them together on this visit and was ecstatically happy. She posted them on all of her social media. When she showed me the pictures it was clear that SHE was the happy one and he appeared very flat and emotionless sitting next to her. Time went by and their relationship grew to the point where they began traveling to each other every few months. One day when she returned home, she received a text message from him saying he had a great time with her over the weekend. Great news except she was not with him that weekend. She did some investigating and discovered that he was indeed " cheating" on her. At first she forgave him as he promised never to do anything like that again.

She spent a lot of money in airplane tickets and on food and entertainment when she visited him. She did not mind at all. She was in love. Then one day she discovered a post he had placed online with another woman announcing their intimate relationship and their plans for having a family. She was devastated , and went into a deep depression for a few weeks. Her family and friends tried relentlessly to get her to go out and do things. One day, her best friend called her and said " look while you are in your room being depressed and lonely, he is out and about enjoying life". These words hit her hard, and she realized that indeed this was true. She got up, took a shower, changed into clean clothes and started working on her dream of going to college.

Once she got accepted into college , she met a few guys along the way, but did not allow them or their plans to become a distraction from her goal. This young woman graduated Summa Cum Laude and gave the commencement speech at her graduation!!

Turning things that are heartaches into opportunity is not an easy thing to do but can be accomplished!! Please like and share your experiences with me!!

Personal Peace

Sun, 28 Feb 2021 04:40:58 GMT

In a world with a never ending onslaught of information, it's important now more than ever to try and find some personal peace. There are of course some things we need to identify in the process of finding our peace.

I call these our PEACE STEALERS. One of the largest thieves of of our peace is time management. Where and how are we spending our time. To get to this we must identify where we spend the bulk of our " free" time. That is time not involved in working a job that provides benefit to ourselves and those around us.

Are we filling up the hours with watching videos online, talking, texting or face timing our friends and family? I am not suggesting that any of these things are not important. But if you are trying to CHANGE things it's time to get real and MICRO MANAGE our time. This is the very first step in goal setting. This activity is going to take you at least a week or two, because each day is different. For instance: if you have kids one day you may have more time after the kids go to bed. If you are single you may have more time on different days of the week depending on the time constraints at your job or your schedule. You might be a person who works varying schedules based upon the needs of your department and the industry you work in. The idea with this is to get a journal, it does not matter what kind it is, and make an entry for every day for two weeks as to how your time is spent. You can include the hours you work.

This information will give you a good picture as to how you have spent your time and where your potential TIME STEALERS are!! Good Luck. I am looking forward to your results!

How to Create Your Self Care Chart

Sun, 24 Nov 2019 04:38:49 GMT

Image by Gerd Altman

Self care is something that everyone does. It is very subjective for most folks and can include indulgences like getting a manicure or pedicure. But real self care is more basic than that. In fact self care itself can be thought of as the umbrella that prevents us from getting wet on a rainy day. The protection we can use to prevent our stress, anger, or anxiety from interfering from our ability to complete tasks or assignments requiring our attention.

The best place to begin in creating a self care chart, is to identify those things that we do when we get stressed, angry or anxious to reduce those feelings. If you are the kind of person who uses music to calm you down, you might want to consider in which way music is helpful to you. Is it mental, physical, emotional or all three? This is an important step in the process of making a self care chart. Because, what works for one situation may not work for others.

If you find that music makes you relax when you are anxious, it may not have the same effect when you are angry. Growing up, my mother was not the best housekeeper. In fact I knew when she was really angry. Because she would take apart everything , clean and scrub and reorganize. Somehow the process of bringing order to things allowed her to gain a better perspective on why she was angry and possible solutions to the situation. She also used her faith as another self care activity. She would spend hours reading and praying. For those of you reading this blog, think about your belief system. Whatever that is, you can use it as a self care activity.

When considering what self care activities you use or can use, consider the following; candles, gardening, showering, taking a nap, wiggling your feet in the sand, writing in a journal, listening to music, organizing, exercise, yoga... you get the idea. Now that you have identified your strategies, draw an umbrella and underneath it write in all of the activities you can use to manage your emotions. Place this paper in a place that you can access it readily.

#selfcare, #emotions, #umbrella

Don't Fight the Feeling

Sat, 19 Oct 2019 04:32:04 GMT

Image by Gino Crescoli from Pixabay

The other day I was thinking about what my daily quotes on social media would be about for the week. I usually try to have a theme each week, and then give my followers different aspects of that theme. As I was pondering what direction to go in, I received an e-mail from one of my coaching clients. She told me about a situation she found herself facing. It seems as though she had filled out an online application for a job she she really wanted. She said that they had plenty of openings. She felt really lucky to have received a call back for a second interview and was overjoyed when she was offered the job. Soon after she was hired, she began noticing a lot of tension in the office. The more I read of her e-mail and her predicament the more I knew we needed to have a conversation over the phone ( that is her preferred method of communication with me).

Once we were on the phone, I could hear the anxiety in her voice as she began to describe the environment she is working in. The more we got into what was going on, some interesting things began to unveil themselves. I asked her to recall the initial interview she had at this company and to think about how that felt. She said that she was really nervous about getting the job because she felt as though it would be something great on her resume. She also said that she felt tension at that time as well, but dismissed it as just having butterflies. The more she thought about the first and second interviews, it came to light that it wasn't just her feeling that way. In fact , she said that she noticed the people working there, appeared extremely stressed. She said that her desire to work at this particular firm she ignored her intuition.

This client of mine is not unlike other people in the world. How many times have you ignored that feeling in your GUT because you feel as though you HAVE to do something. Humans are the only species on the planet that can over ride their instinct. This is evident when we see people in the news because they entered a burning building to rescue someone who was trapped inside. If you have ever noticed, right before a storm there are no animals around. The birds have stopped singing and there is not a squirrel to be found anywhere. That is because they have an instinct that a storm is brewing and they must follow that. They run for cover and protect their young. Some species of monkeys actually group together as a community in trees during a snowfall so they can share the body heat.

What I would like everyone who is reading this post to do is to embrace their feelings or intuition. Acknowledge how you are feeling and pay attention as to why that may be. YOU are the expert when it comes to YOU. You know what will work and what won't work for you. If something is making you uncomfortable , take a moment and think about why that is. Do not concern yourself with what other people are thinking. And whatever you do do not ask other people for their opinions on YOUR feelings. The only person you have to trust is yourself. Tap into your inner guidance and follow that!!

#intuition, #feelings, #guidance

The Lesson of Three

Sun, 30 Jun 2019 04:28:48 GMT

This past May and early June three people a mother, daughter and a son all graduated from college. Now you may be thinking that these stories happen all the time, and maybe they do. But this particular story was never predicted to have this outcome. These three people did not start college on the same day. In fact the daughter and son were three years apart. Their mother who is also the author of this blog was the last of the three to start working on her graduate degree all by chance.

It was by intention that the daughter attended college in 2012 after her graduation from high school. She was an unwilling participant who thought that she did need to further her education. With the guidance of a persistent mother she began her college career at the community college level. She would balk every now and again while going there, until she was accepted into a University that is when she began to flourish.

The son was on his own path. He excelled academically and musically. He went immediately into a University and majored in Music performance and education. A double major ensuring that at the very least he could teach and be able to sustain a living.

Working four sixteen hour days as a nursing assistant had become more than a grind for their mother. She decided one day in June of 2017 to take a "look" at possibly entering into a Masters program. She was sitting in her first class September of that same year. Little did she realize that she would have to work even harder for that degree. Between the academics, a forty eight hour work week and a thirteen hour a week internship she was in it eighty hours a week. All three members of this family overcame obstacles they thought they could not. The daughter never envisioned being accepted into a four year University and graduating! The son had experiences with his music in college that were once in a lifetime( marching in the Rose Parade).

In the end, they all made it !! The lesson is that no matter what the obstacles involved, with determination you can do it! The mother has always prayed for both of her children's success and for THEM to finish their college degrees. This time GOD had a message for her and her children. That they are the one's who have weathered a storm and made it to the other side not just safe but also victorious.

#lesson, #message, #determination

The Right Embouchure

Mon, 25 Feb 2019 04:25:33 GMT

Photos courtesy of www.facebook.com/photosbychar/

At the heart of anyone playing a woodwind instrument is the drive to achieve the correct embouchure. This is the term used to describe the way in which the musician applies the mouth to the mouthpiece of either a brass or woodwind instrument. This isn't something that just everyone can achieve with great success. Sometimes it is the difference between becoming a great musician and merely an average one. And then there are some people who were born with a innate ability, the right embouchure comes more naturally and takes little to no training at all.

I have learned all of this from having a son who (pictured above) was destined to be a musician. Two months into the beginning of fourth grade he asked me a question that would reveal his true purpose in life. That question was "Mom my friend James wants to play the clarinet and I do to. Can I? "With a budget that was already struggling, my then husband and I figured that the $18.30 monthly charge for the clarinet was well within our budget. At the time I was the typical Mom driving the kids everywhere. Although he and his friend James flew through the first lesson book in less than half of the school year. I just tossed it up to friendly competition. It didn't dawn on me until I met his clarinet teacher that there was more to this clarinet playing than I thought. The man came at me as though I was the goose who had laid a golden egg. You would have thought I was some kind of celebrity. All I knew was that for the first time in his life my son looked happy. When we went to his concerts, he and James were the first ones on the stage. They would talk onstage until the conductor called for everyone to take their positions to play the assigned piece. And in those moments I saw a light in his eyes and a happiness that I had never seen before. By the end of fifth grade our family dynamics had changed dramatically. I had survived breast cancer and faced my future alone. Ed had been selected to attend two weeks at the DARTS (day in the arts) program that is a part of the BSO (Boston symphony orchestra) It was good for him and myself to get some time away from one another. He needed to begin to make friends and I needed to begin to let go.

At first there really was not much difference. His father would come to the performances and talk with him afterwards. But as time went on I was the only one attending those performances. High School was approaching and two weeks before it began my Ed came home and announced that "This is the best time of the year!" I thought he had things a little mixed up since we had four moths until Christmas. And then he let me know that Band Camp was beginning in a couple of days and he volunteered me to make some home made chocolate chip cookies. As tired as I was from working, the light in his eyes and the true joy of this event produced one of the best batches of cookies I believe I have ever made.

By Thanksgiving of his Freshman year in high school, there were three cases for musical instruments in his room. After the second one showed up I stopped asking questions. My only concern was how I was supposed to fit all of them into my little Dodge Caliber. When he had five cases in his room I had to tell him to stop because I did not want to pack up the car and have to push it down the road because nether of us would be able to get in it. As a result of him playing all of these instruments, opportunity began to present itself. At first it was a four day stay at a hotel in Hopkington to be a member of the Massachusetts All state Lions Band. The other band mothers told me I was crazy to let him go. But one thing I knew was I never wanted to see that light of joy fade from his eyes. He needed to go and meet other kids who were just as passionate about music as he is. He missed four days of school and it was well worth it. He came back a more confident young man. He had made new friends and with the advantage of social media the members of that band stayed in touch and held reunions in Boston.

After that, opportunities began gravitating to him. That's what happens when you allow yourself to follow your passion. While in the All State Band he met the director of the Harvard Summer Pops program and at age 15 was playing a concert at the Hatch Shell in Boston. His years in high school were marked with new adventures that were made possible by his willingness to take chances and his ability to react positively to criticism. He auditioned twice for Districts and did not make it. After the last failed audition he told me that when he went into it he was thrown off by the judges asking him to do things differently than what he had planned. That was when I knew he needed help. The kind of assistance that only someone in music professionally could give him. I prayed everyday for a way to find this person and also the money to pay them with once I did. It all worked out and six months after his lessons began he made Districts and sat first chair bassoon. All of these experiences have made him a great success as he is now ready to graduate college.

The most important part of this story are the qualities that he has learned in his journey. They are: Stay true to yourself regardless of what others are doing, always look ahead as there is nothing for you in the rear view mirror, be good to those who are good to you and forget the rest, network, network and network, and finally, accept what others offer you without asking for more than they are able to give.

Recognizing My Blessings

Mon, 03 Dec 2018 04:18:45 GMT

The other day I was watching the news and I heard the anchor person talk about the record sales that are happening since Black Friday. I watched a video that showed people shopping and fighting over THINGS in a store. The news then showed massive lines of people waiting outside stores until they opened, hoping to get the best deals of the season. I watched all of these things from the comfort of my couch, in my small apartment, sipping a cup of my favorite tea. It was at that precise moment that I started to count my blessings and began to think about how fortunate I really am. I keep my Christmas list small and the number of presents I buy even smaller. For me, I refuse to be pushed and pulled physically or psychologically into purchasing THINGS that may end up in the return pile the day after Christmas. Over the past three years, I have instituted a new Christmas list. This list is made up of days that I will get together with my friends and family to share conversation, a meal and possibly a good card game. I believe that the most precious gift that can be given this holiday season is the one of our time, not of THINGS.

I am not suggesting that exchanging gifts should be banned, all I am saying is that for me, gift giving is not about fighting over a material object in a store. I do not believe that any THING is that important. Maybe I am even suggesting that we all focus less on the gifts and more on the people in our lives. Because in all honesty the only perfect gift we can give is our presence. Recognize YOUR blessings in the small things in life because when all of those small things are added up they are far more valuable than anything you can find on a shelf in a store.

#holiday, #gifts, #giving

How to Begin the Change You Want!

Wed, 15 Aug 2018 04:17:47 GMT

The thing about change is that it begins with a place of discomfort. A feeling that something is not quite right and needs to be different. Yet, for a lot of people being uncomfortable becomes the norm and they learn to live with it. It is similar to having minor tooth pain. Most people shrug it off until it becomes so intolerable that medical intervention is necessary.

But change can only happen if we as individuals take matters into our own hands. It is the very first step that is the most difficult. And usually it is the smallest of all the steps. The person making the change may appear exactly the same visually as they always have. The only thing that might be noticeable could be the way they are carrying themselves. Or they may not be reacting to situations the same as they use to.

This beginning stage is crucial to it becoming more permanent. The more consistent we are in our new behaviors the more likely it is they will remain .The most important factor in beginning change is to remain confident in what we are trying to achieve. This can be a little challenging with people looking at us questionably. And depending upon the situation we might regress into our old ways.

Whatever it is that YOU are thinking about changing do it NOW. Do not wait for the beginning of another week or day to arrive. Use what YOU have already on hand. YOU are enough and what you HAVE is enough. Your new beginning awaits you!!

#beginnings, #happiness, #change

Simple Pleasures in Life

Sat, 28 Jul 2018 04:16:33 GMT

When I was a kid, every summer my mother would complain about all the little yellow flowers that were growing in our lawn. Personally, I thought they were pretty. The yellow color intermingled with the grass, was very eye appealing to me. It took me a few years to realize that these beautiful flowers were the same plants that resembled feathery ghosts later in the summer. I did not have a lot of time to pay attention to these details as I was whisked off to summer camp early in the morning and did not return until late in the afternoon.

The summer I turned ten, my relatives came to visit Boston from New Jersey. My two cousins and I were in the backyard doing some exploring. One of them picked up a fossilized flower and blew on it. A most amazing thing happened. All of the white whisps were carried into the air and were carried away with the breeze. I was mesmerized. I had no idea that these remnants had any value. I just figured they would eventually wither away and be lost to the dirt forever.

The three of us sat in the backyard plucking and sending these ghosts into the air for a long time. In the process we were laughing and giggling. There was a competition going on to see which one of us could send our tendrils in the breeze. This all came to a complete stop when my mother , aunt and uncle came outside and saw what we were doing. We were all in the soup after that. We had no idea that what we thought were simply harmless puffs of white, still carried the seed of life.

The following summer my mother made sure she THANKED me for all the additional yellow flowers that appeared in our lawn that summer. What I learned from this experience is that something can be learned from the simplest pleasures in life. I also learned that in mother nature EVERYTHING has a purpose even when it may not appear as though it does. This lesson has remained with me all through my life. In some of my darkest moments I have used this memory to remind me that there is something of purpose regardless of how dire things may seem. And that there is LIFE in the most overlooked things around me. If you are facing some obstacles in your life that seem too hard to overcome, take a good look around you for your DANDELIONS...

#dandelions, #life, #ghosts

In the Realm of Possibility

Wed, 04 Jul 2018 04:13:13 GMT

The realm of YOUR possibilities are as limitless as you allow them to be. The question is, how do you unlock all the barriers you place on that thought? And if you do not think you have barriers surrounding your possibilities, then why have you not achieved any of them yet ? If they are all in the background as merely ideas, there is a reason for that.

Usually, the reason is that there is not enough energy being placed into them. All of your energy is probably being used maintaining a job, a family and a social life.

I am not suggesting that any of these things are NOT important, what I am saying is, moving your possibilities from a place of mere fantasy to reality, requires an open door mentality. With all of the other daily demands on your time, it is a challenge to put it mildly to entertain one more thing taking up any more of your time. If you are a parent, you might consider yourself being selfish by taking a chance on something that is merely POSSIBLE. You may feel as though you would be taking something away from your kids by taking a chance. But that could not be further from the truth. In fact this is the best time of all to begin working on your ideas. When you take a leap and begin taking those small steps to creating your future, you will begin to feel differently about yourself. You will gain confidence, and as a result, the new you will have more to give to the job, the family and the social network you are connected with.

In addition to what you will have to give to others, people will begin to treat you differently as well. They will have a new respect for you. Even if they do not outwardly say anything, deep inside they will be watching what you are doing.

They will be listening intently to what your plans are. Some of them may secretly begin to do some of the same things that you are doing. The difference between you and them will be that you STARTED on your tomorrow.

But none of this can happen until you unlock the door and widen your vision of what is POSSIBLE! Get started today without delay. Just one small step can lead to a major change.

Walk Through to Opportunity

Sun, 03 Jun 2018 04:12:05 GMT

It can be hard to know when opportunity is staring you right in the face. Even if a door were to appear with a sign on it, you might be too skeptical to open it. That comes from a mindset that is prepared for disappointment. And if that door held your future , then maybe you would be willing to peek at it. But walking through it, and into a new dimension, that requires sheer determination and a lot of faith.

All the time that you have been thinking, wishing and praying for a new start, you have placed your order into the universe. And when the opportunity arrives, the universe is delivering on that order. There is however a difference between ordering from the universe and a catalog.

When you look at an item in a catalog you know exactly what it looks like. When the package arrives, you open it expecting the item to appear EXACTLY the way it was pictured in the catalog. The universe receives your order, but it has no reference point. It cannot read your mind and see your vision. If your desire is for a new car to replace the unreliable one you currently have, your opportunity may present itself in a minivan, when you really wanted a compact car.

The same holds true for other things. If you are dwelling on a new job, it pays great dividends to be extremely specific about what you are willing to do to pay the bills. If the job of your dreams appears but it requires you to work different shifts you might be wise to take the opportunity. Because that chance may not come along again. And it may lead into other things that you would not have access to otherwise.

I once knew a man who took a job at a hospital in the housekeeping department. He washed floors, picked up the trash and worked just about every shift . After he had been there about a year, he went back to school. At first, he only took one class at a time. He was not certain what it was he wanted to do exactly. But he knew that he had to do something. He wanted a better future. And his vision was not in the housekeeping department.

After about a year in college, he decided he wanted to become a nurse. He continued to work at the hospital while enrolled in a nursing program. You might be asking why he would do that. well the answer is pretty simple. The hospital he worked at was paying for most of his education.

His temporary inconvenience was in being a housekeeper. His order to the universe was an education. His opportunity was in the tuition being paid by the hospital. He walked through to his opportunity. And you can too!!!

Hold on to Hope

Tue, 29 May 2018 04:10:24 GMT

Holding onto hope sounds easy enough to do. Especially if things are good right at the moment. That is when there is nothing to worry about. Our focus is only on good things. In fact, a lot of times it is easy to forget to be grateful and I mean truly grateful for all that is right in our presence.

How would I know that if I had not lived it myself? I spent more than a decade raising two kids alone. Most of that time we all lived in a house. It was the same home they were born into. I was determined to see them grow the rest of their formative years in that house.

Struggle had become my new first name. I might have been divorced from a marriage but not from all of the issues that being a single parent presented. No matter how much I worked, it still did not seem to be enough financially. For every extra dollar I brought home, there was a new issue that required all that I made and then some. When the child support did come through, it just meant some of the bills got paid on time. I walked around that house seeing only what was wrong with the way we all were living.

Some months when there was no child support, the bills were paid later than late. I never had the electric or the gas turned off, and I never lost the house. And the only way I was able to accomplish all of that was by holding onto HOPE. It was a long road to get there, but I learned that within every small victory there was a huge amount of HOPE that made it happen at all.

With each small step towards success, my grasp onto HOPE became stronger. I began to realize that what I wanted to achieve was attainable. And with that knowledge, Hope became my source of strength. The one thing I could hold onto even when things seemed to be totally against me. I remember sitting in the living room of the house with my head in my hands.

I would have tears streaming down my face trying to make sense of how I was supposed to make things work. The longer I sat and allowed HOPE to enter into my realm of thinking, the calmer and clearer my path appeared. And in all honesty, most of the time it was all I had to hold onto. For everything that was going wrong at the time, HOPE provided the gateway to all that was required for things to go RIGHT!!

Allow HOPE into your life regardless of your situation or circumstances and reap the benefits of doing so. It will allow you to see what is RIGHT with your life instead of only seeing what is WRONG!!

An Unexpected Conversation

Sun, 29 Apr 2018 04:04:29 GMT

Some of the best conversations occur when I am expecting nothing to happen at all. That is exactly what happened to me the other day as I was flying from Boston to Charlotte North Carolina.

The American Airlines flight was packed three deep. I entered the plane hoping that I did not have the window seat. I really dread flying, yet I love to travel. It makes for a very interesting dynamic each time I fly. My seat was in the middle of two women. The one who sat near the window is a college student in new Hampshire and the other is a professional from the city of Boston.

I of course started talking first(that is what I always do). Sometimes in these situations, I am able to have a conversation and there are times when people are just not receptive to what I am saying. I said good morning to them and warned them about my aversion to flying. Before I knew it the three of us were in a fantastic conversation about family, friends and being a women in 2018.

The young woman by the window began to tell us about her mother. She said it was difficult for her mother to accept her attendance at an out of state school. But she knew she had to leave and see the world. Something inside of her felt the pull of wanderlust, and she had to follow it. She also said that she is very close to her mother. In fact, they face time at least once a week and more often if possible.

I mentioned that her mother must be very excited at the prospect of her coming home for a visit. The young woman broke into a large smile and told us that she was surprising her mother with this visit. She had contacted her mother's boss and informed them of her impending arrival. Her mother was supposed to work the weekend but her boss arranged it so the mother did not have to go in. The only thing she was concerned with was a gift to get for her mother.

I told her that in my humble opinion, the visit from the daughter was enough of a gift. She looked at me and asked if I was sure about that. I told her that I have always believed that spending quality time with people is far more important that giving material gifts. For it is the interpersonal relationships with people that are the basis for our most treasured memories. Material things may jog our memory of people, but it is the emotions that are associated with people that create the bond. This spontaneous visit to her mother would mean more than a hundred Hallmark cards could ever say.

Maybe there is someone you want to give a gift to. Someone who is very important in your life. My suggestion is to give them the gift of YOU! Your time and affection are two things that cannot be purchased in a store, on television or online. Think of it this way. If you were to get into your car and purchase a card for this person, how much time would that take? A half an hour or an hour? Add to that the amount of time it takes to sign address and mail the card. It will probably result in a sum that is larger than one hour.

Imagine for a moment, what spending one hour out of an entire week of working, would do for YOU and that other person. You will not be driving around trying to find the card that has the perfect message. For you will be delivering that in person. In a world that is moving at the speed of a text message, we all need to take stock of our relationships and try to improve them!!

Raise Above the Rain

Mon, 16 Apr 2018 04:03:09 GMT

One thing about a rainy day is that I usually do not want to get out of bed. I hear the rain drops falling and it is as if they are playing a lullaby that increases my fatigue. But I have learned to raise above the rain. Oh do not get it twisted and think this is something that is easy to do. It certainly is not!

Raising above the rain came as I was recovering from breast cancer. It was what I had to do in order to get back to where I was physically before the surgery. I remember dragging myself out of bed, getting dressed, hitting the treadmill and the weights. It was really hard. I had days when I felt as though I would never make any progress. Day after day I refused to give up even though I felt as though it was of no use.

I still remember lifting those tiny two pound weights, crying inside. I could not believe what cancer had reduced me to. It would be six months before I was ready to increase the weights I was lifting to a whopping five pounds. That was one of my biggest milestones. That day I felt as though I could overcome just about anything. I never told anyone about this until now. I figured that most people would not have understood my personal battle.

From then on, I was like the postman. Nothing was going to keep me down. I refused to allow the weather conditions to hinder my progress. I found ways around the depressing effects that rain, sleet and snow have over my mood. Even if the kids did not have school, I got up and I got out of that house. It was something I had to do for myself. To this day, I still work out whenever I can. And I do not permit the weather determine whether or not I can get a workout.

I have applied this mentality to every aspect of my life. And you can too. Raise above the Rain and find your way to what it is that should and can be achieved today and everyday!!

Marathon Monday

Sun, 15 Apr 2018 04:01:52 GMT

This coming Monday in Boston, Massachusetts, thousands of runners will take to the streets in an effort to complete the grueling twenty six mile course known as the Boston Marathon. The most fascinating part of this race are the stories of the entrants in the news prior to what is called "Marathon Monday". Each person highlighted on the evening news, comes from a different set of circumstances. Some of the people have lost someone and are running in their memory. While others have just decided that this is "the" time for them to take on this challenge.

One of the most difficult parts of this particular course is halfway through. At mile twenty all of the runners must face "Heartbreak Hill". This is a 1.23 mile stretch that is an ascent. It is at this juncture that many runners cannot go on. Every year I watch this race on the television and I am amazed and impressed at the bravery of each entrant for this race. I believe that this particular race has the highest number of people who complete it without regard to their timing. For some people it might be daylight when they begin the course and dusk upon completion. That represents a high commitment to the goal of finishing this race.

I believe that everyone of us is in a "marathon" of sorts. Even though people have said that life is "short" the truth is, the average life span is 79 years. That is a long time made up of intervals that mark major chronological changes that impact us differently at each stage. If we were all sprinters, then the vast majority of folks would not make it past the first quarter century. But that is not the case. This indicates that most people have what it takes to go the distance regardless of their situation or circumstance. It is not necessary for them to have been previously condition for the long haul, because when it comes down to it, what matters the most is the level of commitment to living as long as possible. So this Monday also known as Patriots Day in Boston, remember that we are all Marathoners. It is not necessary to have a number or a shirt in order to be in the race that represents your life. Regardless of where you are in the Marathon, it only matters that you finish ! It is a race that is very individualized with results that vary from person to person. Stay in it!!

Use Your Vision...

Sun, 08 Apr 2018 03:58:31 GMT

Have you ever been in the middle of your day and just had a vision in your head of something you would love to do? Most people have this experience every once in a while. Unfortunately, what happens is that once that moment has passed, with it goes all the hopes and possibilities, that vision brought. I have heard people say things like "Yeah like that could ever happen". But the truth of the matter is, that everyone has access to ideas or visions that are unique to their own experience. And the way that the access becomes blocked is through the negativity each one of us associates with the possibility of actually achieving that vision.

These thoughts begin in our everyday experience and it is almost as though a door is opened showing us something the is completely different from what we do on a day to day basis. Something that brings with it a glimpse of possibilities we can only see from our small perspective. Unless we are willing to take a step further into the vision we are experiencing, the door closes and all the things we caught sight of are lost. Once this happens it is near impossible to bring back those initial feelings surrounding that vision.

Notice I said NEAR IMPOSSIBLE! Nothing is impossible, but it takes some work and effort on our parts. It means sitting down with ourselves and admitting that we DESERVE to explore our vision further, instead of shrugging it off. It's easy to think ourselves OUT of something, but extremely difficult to focus and bring an intangible to life. The use of vision boards is one way of keeping our focus on goals and ideas. But it is MORE important to ALLOW the possibility of the idea. Without that, all the vision boards in the world are of no use.

This week focus on an idea that you might have suppressed because it seemed out of reach. Allow yourself to have ACCESS to that experience and just let it flow from there. You might just be surprised at the results. Solutions to previously held obstacles could appear before your very eyes!!

#POSSIBILITIES, #ACCESS, #DESERVE

Where the Luck is...

Wed, 21 Mar 2018 03:56:39 GMT

The other day, I had a conversation with someone about Luck. While we were discussing our thoughts on this subject more people walked into the room and became involved in the ongoing conversation. It was quite an interesting exchange.

You see the people in the room were from very diverse backgrounds. One thing we discussed was how everyone viewed being LUCKY. Is luck something that just happens to people, can it be channeled through the use of an object, thought or belief. Or is there no such thing as luck?

Some of the people there presented what they considered to be their Lucky tokens. One person had a necklace, another had a bracelet and yet another had a token she kept in her pocket.

To each of these material possessions was attached a great deal of emotional attachment. So much so that many of the people showing their symbols of Luck became very passionate while they were speaking. One of the women who spoke broke down into tears while recounting the time that she had fallen on hard times. She was the subject of very violent domestic abuse. One morning she got up just like she did every day. She gave her fiance a kiss goodbye, walked out the door and never returned while he was home. As she says the stars were aligned just the right way because of her Good Luck Charm that she had just purchased a few weeks before. A few days after she left, she went back with two male friends and within an hour had packed up all of her belongings. She stayed with some friends for a couple of weeks. And once again as LUCK would have it an apartment within her budget became available. She moved in and within a few short months she was on her feet. To prevent her former fiance from contacting her she blocked him , all of his friends and family on every single social media venue she had. It took her a few hours to accomplish this because they had been together for a number of years. But the point is SHE DID IT!

The questions that come to mind when I hear this story are: Was it really the Good Luck Charm that created the desire within her to take action or had she just reached a point of having had enough. The answer I believe is a combination of both. Sometimes the most difficult things to do in life are made much simpler when we have something to hold onto. And when I say "hold onto" I am not necessarily referring to anything physical. It is more important what is MOTIVATING the person to take action. The strength to put thoughts into action comes from a BELIEF that the outcome will be successful or at the very least has the OTENTIAL for success. In this particular case this woman did a lot of things to ensure her success. With the power of her "charm" behind her, she enlisted the assistance of her friends at work and on the internet in order to find a suitable apartment. These are all things she could have done a long time ago, but did not think she could pull off successfully. But I am not going to tell her that!

The point of this story that I want you all reading this to really get is this: Regardless of what it takes to get you motivated to make some changes in your life, use it. Maybe for you this might involve reading some motivational books, wearing a piece of jewelry , meditation or attending a meeting or religious service of your choice. These are just some of the agents you can use to change your life and get it moving in a new direction!

It All Starts With This

Sat, 24 Feb 2018 03:55:18 GMT

Anything that you want to do requires CHANGE. Some people might argue this point. But if you think about it it is an undeniable fact. I once had a conversation with a woman who LOVES Starbucks coffee. She loves it so much that it actually effects her outlook on her day. When she has a cup of that coffee in the morning at her desk, all hell could break loose and she would still be in a good place. The only problem is, the closest Starbucks to her is about ten minutes out of her way during her commute to work. For a while, she would get up ten minutes early each and every morning in so that she could get her coveted cup of coffee. It did not really bother her to get up a little earlier. In fact she looked forward to walking into work while smelling the delicious aroma emanating from that warm cup she was holding in her hand.

Then one day, she slept past her alarm! Luckily when she got to work someone had bought a cup of coffee for her. She went home that day promising herself to get up early the next morning. But, she decided to keep the extra minutes for herself instead of getting the coffee. Soon, she was miserable while she was at work. She began getting headaches, even though she had a soda with caffeine in it. It just was NOT the same.

Change as it turns out was more difficult than she had originally thought. After a few months had gone by she had become more irritable. She would even tell everyone around her that she was miserable. It was at this point she sought out my coaching services. As it turned out, the coffee was the tip of the iceberg.

Whenever I take on new clients, I let them know that WE are a team. Together we will tackle those things that are presenting themselves as obstacles or barriers to success. After one month of talking, this young lady was back to getting up early. She decided to go back to getting her daily coffee. Not because she missed the caffeine, but more so because it was her one indulgence. It made the rest of her day bearable. By the second month, she was back to her daily one mile walk. She was feeling better than she had in a couple of years.

With her renewed energy and her cup of java in the morning, her overall mood had improved to the point where people at her work were happy to see her. She was offered a different position within the company, and accepted it. When she asked her new boss why he offered her the position, he told her it was because of her uplifting attitude. It is that attitude that has inspired her new co-workers to win several inter company awards for teamwork since she started working with them.

All of this because of one CHANGE that she made in her daily routine! Do you have obstacles that are preventing you from doing things? Regardless of how big or small they appear to be to you I can help you figure things out. Please fill out the contact form at jacquisenn.com to set up a free consultation!

#CHANGE, #COFFEE, #STRESS

Merry Christmas Eve!

Fri, 26 Jan 2018 03:51:53 GMT

On this day before Christmas,I wish everyone the best . In order to receive the best of everything, open your minds and hearts to the possibilities of what can be. Before you go to that party or a relatives house, release all preconceived notions as to what it will be like.It has been my experience that when you fill your heart and mind with negative thoughts about a gathering it will ultimately end up being a negative experience.

Permit good thoughts and exude an aura of happiness that others cannot help but gravitate to. Because that is really what this season is supposed to be all about. By preparing yourself mentally and emotionally, your holiday experience will be one you will not soon forget. Those who are around you will remember how good they felt in your presence and will probably seek you out in the future!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE ( kid-lit-reviews.com )

MERRY CURVEBALL! ( billhogan77.wordpress.com )

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM LAVO ( lavocollections.wordpress.com )

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS… ( susanmckone.wordpress.com )

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE + AN EASY COOKIE RECIPE! ( khnutrition.com )

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL ( authordylanhearn.wordpress.com )

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE…EVE WITH BEGINNER PHOTOGRAPHY! ( goalfulchels.com )

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE ( peppermintpopcorn88.wordpress.com )

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE! #DSMMCM1314 ( dsmmcm1314.wordpress.com )

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! ( lucybirdbooks.wordpress.com )

Happy New Year's Eve

Tue, 02 Jan 2018 03:47:09 GMT

However you decide to celebrate this holiday, try to surround yourself with those who truly believe in you and your vision. Your family and friends are the ones who have been by your side as you have been trying to make your vision come to life. Celebrate all they have given you throughout the year. These are the moments and memories that will sustain you as the new year approaches and you begin to make more progress towards your goal.

A new year awaits you! Allow all that support that your family and friends give you to be your motivation for continuing on!

It's an Easy Leap!

Sun, 31 Dec 2017 03:45:29 GMT

For a lot of people, the beginning of a new year can seem overwhelming. But the truth is that the new year will come whether or not you participate in the celebration. It is the same way with life. Time moves forward with or without your involvement. That is why, this is a GREAT TIME TO TAKE THAT LEAP ! Take that goal that you placed in the back of the closet out. Blow off all the dust that has accumulated on top of it over the past year. Look at it face to face and determine that you will find a way to achieve it. NO.

MATTER WHAT IT IS!! Do not wait for circumstances to decide things for YOU!!

I know this is scary for you ! You might be thinking that there is absolutely NO WAY you could ever achieve that goal. But I assure you that you CAN and WILL achieve more than you ever thought you could just by being PRESENT! By staying focused on your goals and seeking out opportunities to make them come into reality, you will be amazed at what will come your way.

I want you to do a couple of things for yourself in the pursuit of your goals. First, I want you to write them down. List them in the order of the level of importance they play in your life. For instance, if the car you are driving has seen better days, put a newer car towards the top of your list before the car makes the decision for you. Do not let that automobile become a money pit you cannot afford. There are plenty of deals out there and with a little effort you can find one that will fit your budget.

Secondly, I want you to keep the list at your immediate reach at all times. Some people use vision boards and if that works for you it's okay. But, having your list within your immediate reach, will allow you to remember and re-focus if you begin to forget what it is you are after. If you are trying to save up for something, you may have to give up something else in the short term to reach that goal. I listen to people complain about something that they are lacking in their lives. Some goal that they wish they could reach. Yet they have not changed nay of their daily habits in order to make room for what they truly want. Take a good long hard look at how and where you spend money that you could cut back on. Even if it is only three dollars a day. Because at the end of one month in a thirty day period that will be almost one hundred dollars.

Finally, I want you to picture yourself achieving the goals you have set for yourself. Each and every day take a few moments to yourself and meditate on these things. Keep your faith in yourself alive. Even when things might seem as though they are taking a turn in the opposite direction, keep yourself together. Breathe in and breathe out, and remember that what you want will come to pass. All that you are in is no more than a momentary lapse. It will be easy to give up at this point, but you MUST stay on course to your future.

Its an EASY LEAP... TAKE IT!!!

Celebrate Your Way!

Mon, 11 Dec 2017 03:42:34 GMT

The Holiday Season is upon us now. It all started with Thanksgiving. Advertisements on all our media flood us with similar messages. They offer many different way to be HAPPY during the holidays. Our happiness according to the media can be achieved by giving the perfect gift, preparing the best tasting cookies and purchasing the best outfit to wear to all of those holiday parties we have been invited to attend. With all of this advice floating around it can become difficult to find a way to actually ENJOY this season that holds meaning for each of us individually.

If we spend all of our time running around buying gifts and decorating to fulfill the desires of others, what does that leave for our own sense of enjoyment? What happens if your budget cannot accommodate the expensive gift that you are expected to give this year? Instead of trying to find a way to finance something that will take about a year to pay off, stay within your means and give a gift that you can AFFORD. People will respect you more for that in the long run.

I remember being in high school working at Macy's. We all used to dread the day after Christmas. The lines were ridiculously long and the customers were extremely impatient. An eight hour shift felt as though it was sixteen. My head was swirling with people getting agitated over the waiting time to return their unwanted items. I worked two years at Macy's and processed over two hundred returns. What I learned was that it does not matter how much you SPEND on a gift. It is the heart behind it that matters the most.

If your budget cannot handle anything too expensive, give a gift that will last the whole year through. Maybe some home made cookies, a card with a gift card that has no monetary value, but the contains the promise of time that will be spent together. After all, that is what this season is all about isn't it? As far as all of those holiday parties you have been invited to, go to those you can and forgive yourself for the ones you cannot. You may need a dress to wear but wear the one YOU like instead of what everyone else says you should put on. Everything you do during this season should come from a place of feeling joyous and fulfilled through the promise of a new beginning.

Be blessed and not stressed in that days ahead! Celebrate YOUR way!!

Being Consistent

Thu, 19 Oct 2017 03:39:06 GMT

Most people forget that the most IMPORTANT thing to do in life is to be consistent. When I say this to people they often chuckle . I think it is because they assume that everyone knows consistency is the KEY to success. And these same people are astounded when they encounter someone who does not realize the same thing to be true.

But if they only took a look at their own lives they would see the inconsistencies they live with all the time. These include bit are not limited to, drinking too much coffee, lack of exercise, and getting enough sleep. What would happen if people got the right amount of sleep, drank the right amount of caffeine or started exercising?

I once worked with a woman who constantly complained about her weight. Every time I worked with her she would make some comment about her appearance. One day she asked me how I kept fairly slim. I told her the truth. My daily habits include eating a healthy diet and exercising at least 4 times a week. She shook her head and told me there was NO WAY she could ever do that. She said she did not have any interest in lifting weights or going to the gym.

In the course of our conversation it came out that she actually had a treadmill in her house. She said her husband had given it to her for a birthday gift. It sat in the corner collecting dust day after day. And she admitted that she often used it to hang clothes on. As she spoke a memory came to mind of my mother. She fought a lifelong battle against obesity. When I was thirteen she joined weight watchers and made a commitment to losing some weight. Her blood pressure had sky rocketed and she knew she had to do something.

Before I knew it, I was re-telling this story to my co-worker. I told her that with diet and WALKING my mother lost just about one hundred pounds. It took her a while to do it. It was her consistency that paid off. My co-worker listened attentively to what I was saying.

The next time I saw this woman was about three months later. I was surprised when I saw her. She had lost 30 pounds. She said she dusted off that treadmill and started walking a half an hour a day. She soon realized that her energy was coming back to her. She increased her water intake and decreased her caffeine. When she had her one year anniversary on her health plan she had lost a total of 75 pounds. All from being consistent.

As I always say, small changes can have the biggest impact on your life and those who are around you!

#Consistent, #Commitment, #Energy

Keep Trying

Sun, 08 Oct 2017 03:37:39 GMT

Have you been thinking of doing something new? Or maybe finally getting around to putting that dream of yours into motion? And every time you begin to think about it, the challenges seem to big. Before you know it you have talked yourself OUT of even TRYING!

I remember when I realized I was going to have to get both of my kids into college by myself. I had no idea how I was going to do it. It seemed such a daunting thing to do. There I was an everyday woman with a HUGE task in front of me. My kids never knew how much praying I did. Every night, I was on my knees asking for direction. I had reached a point where it didn't seem possible. I mean there were two of THEM and only ONE of me. The child support had stopped coming in AGAIN. Even though I was afraid that I would NOT be able to get both of them on their way, I decided to TRY!

I realized that the worst thing that could happen would be that they would not be ACCEPTED. I would concern myself with the particulars later! My daughter was first. She was reluctant to go. DON't ask why I do not know what she was thinking.

I got the application for her, made her fill it out to her complete disgust. Now three years later, she is a junior at a State University. All because WE TRIED!!

Then it was time to concern myself with my son. I was not concerned about him getting in, but we had to get his musical situation together. He has an insurmountable amount of talent, but at the time his confidence did not match his capabilities. Private Bassoon lessons cured that! He now plays seven instruments and marches TUBA in a DIVISION 1 college.

All this success from TRYING!!

There is something waiting on YOU to TRY!!!

When God is Anonymous!

Thu, 12 Sep 2002 04:55:16 GMT

Has there ever been a time in your life when things just FELL into place ? You might have been feeling as though you were standing beneath a lucky star ?

Well I have something to say about these occasions: God is behind everything that happens to us even if it appears as though it is by CHANCE.

Some people might argue that they got LUCKY to be at a certain location at a certain time. But I believe that GOD places people where he wants them in order to do his will. I will explain this in detail since I have experienced it firsthand when I was transitioning into a new career.

In 2018 I was half way though my Masters in Mental Health and I was still employed as a nursing assistant. The time was coming near that I really needed to get a job in the field and find an internship. I had looked at the internal openings on the psychiatric floors at the hospital where I was working and there were no full time openings. I was a little disappointed and decided to put my resume together and apply at some other agencies.

At the time, the hospital I was working at was preparing to close and had already begun reducing staff as they were limiting the number of patients that were admitted to the medial floor. It was about a week after I had looked for an opening at the hospital, the new head of Human Resources visited our unit. She told us that it would be a good idea to start looking for openings at the other locations as the closure was happening faster than anticipated.

I stayed late that day to speak with this woman personally. I told her about my plans for a new career ands advised me to apply for an internal position on one of the psychiatric floors. My heart sank because I had already looked the previous week and there were zero openings. I left the hospital that day feeling a little down.

On the ride home, I was still thinking about what that woman had said, and at first thought there would be no point in looking again. But something happened when I got home that day. God spoke to me and said : take another look. I made a cup of tea and logged into the system and there were two openings of which one was full time.

I e-mailed the Human Resources department the position I was interested in just as the woman had told me to do. Within a week I had an interview and was offered a job and an internship halfway through the interview!

I believe that God is behind every coincidence and wishes to remain that way to help us do his will in the world!